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#1
07-30-2010, 04:45 PM
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Invicta, "The Movement!"
It's galling enough that I've been pseudo-banned from the geeks; I'm apparently not banned enough to keep getting their spam.
I just checked my email and found the newest issue (Number 50!) of Invicta junk mail called, with no scatological irony, "The Movement." The masthead is a gigantic yellow winged Swiss cross that looks like it fell off of one of Albert Speer's buildings. This is followed by one of JS's just super pictures, which is followed by a quote by Arthur C. Clarke. As bad as it is that Eyal soils the name of one of the giants of sci-fi literature, he doesn't stop there. He also quotes Marc Chagall, Aristotle, Bob Dylan, Shakespeare, Mae West, Eleanor Roosevelt and, most disconcertingly, Emily Dickenson. There are plenty of JS's pictures of very large, very tasteless watches, and some really remarkably bad ad copy: Utilizing ingenious resources from various factions, the Arsenal Chronograph is fully charged with all the luminous mechanisms required for true achievement; greatness incarnate. Here's another one: With her full 40mm, Professional Swiss made chronograph quartz movement, mother of pearl dial, polyurethane strap with stainless steel metal inserts- at one glance, the Lady Reserve Bolt will level you. And another that sounds even more like Alon Nisimov after far too many champagne cocktails: Not for the faint of heart, the fierce volume and capability of the Sea Hunter will push past barriers of time-delivering an unparalleled standard. As if the vapid, Panamanian-English copy wasn't bad enough, we're also treated to some photos of a few--admittedly pretty hot--models wearing Invicta watches and hanging out with some minor celebrity trash who, me being a middle-aged wanker, are unknown to me. And of course, a mass-Invicta-spamming wouldn't be vomit-inducing enough if they didn't have Good Puppy, the Invicta watch dog, in some cartoons that are so opaque they could have been penned by Eugène Ionesco. Seriously, I'm not sure what I'm missing with these stupid damned cartoons featuring the rabid Invicta-mutt; I feel there's something I should be laughing at, or nodding sagely about, or some damn thing. But no, they're as bad as those appalling terrible Gary, the Watchmaker cartoons we have to endure at the end of every issue of IW. Wow, I suppose that Invicta's costly advertising is working on me!
__________________
That's fact'ry liqour. Cost a buck. --Tom Joad, The Grapes of Wrath 
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#3
07-30-2010, 04:58 PM
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Interesting read
Also I love that line "A Swiss cross that looks like it fell off of one of Albert Speer's buildings"
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#5
07-30-2010, 06:14 PM
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Never got it so I didn't have to delete it.
__________________
Larry "The waitress smiled as she brought my coffee and tuna on white. I had forgotten how bad the coffee was. The tuna sandwich had too much mayonnaise, just the way I like it". Stuart M. Kaminsky's Toby Peters 
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#6
07-30-2010, 06:27 PM
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Only wondering about the
Quote:
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#8
07-31-2010, 12:39 PM
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Oh yeah, The Daily Movement (What it should be called). I unsubscribed YEARS ago and have the word Invicta in my spam filter just in case.
When I got banned from WG I still got a "Happy Birthday" email 6 months later! So you've got that to look forward to John.  Budman
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#11
07-31-2010, 03:16 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
__________________
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#12
07-31-2010, 05:10 PM
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Well it is called "The Movement"
Hmmmm what else is called a movement Case closed
__________________
 Never argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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#13
07-31-2010, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
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#14
08-01-2010, 12:22 AM
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Quote:
__________________
That's fact'ry liqour. Cost a buck. --Tom Joad, The Grapes of Wrath
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#15
08-01-2010, 01:58 AM
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Quote:
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